Okay, I get it!
It’s October, the mornings have grown darker and the rain today is literally determined to flood your neighbourhood. First glance in the awful bathroom mirror reveals a proud zit, that has settled down on your nose tip, just because you ate directly off the Nutella jar yesterday. And the day before yesterday. Your boobs are sore, because Red Day is getting awfully near and the pain in your back reveals too many years of heavy lifting and bad working positions – which essentially translates into “You’re old!”. Well, not that old, but old enough to know that you’re not immortal and to annoy younger people with your Golden Wisdoms of Grown-up-hood.
On mornings like these, you will feel inclined to add to the venom the world is already bringing in. Like going on Twitter and spewing rage against all the injustice in the world in threads that fills you with hopelessness and anger, because everyone just don’t get it. You’re probably right. But you know what they say: you can’t fix stupid – so why try?! Or you will grunt “as if!” to the bus driver wishing you a good day or yell at the goddamn car in front of you that apparantly can’t go above 40! In other words: it’s not your day.
It’s okay. We all have them. Some of us more than others. So when you realize that your neighbourhood is being pissed on by nature and you see that zit and you try to make coffee but the machine apparantly collapsed as you were sleeping, you turn around, take off your clothes again and go back to bed.
Give yourself an hour more – or maybe two! Make an executive decision that next time you open your eyes, YOU are in charge.
Today is the day for selfindulgence.
Wax something! Your legs, your upper lip, arm pits, your lady bits – it doesn’t matter. It’s gonna hurt like hell, but the result is a going to be a smooth sensation of clean – well, sort of. Because you know those strips never quite get the whole thing and the packages tell you not to wax the same area twice (and you really shouldn’t). Again, it’s okay. You can shave what’s left – or if the extra hour in bed gave you an abundance of patience, you can pluck the rest. I’d recommend the shaving though, because the day of selfindulgence has just begun and there are so many other treats you can give yourself.
If you are well off, you can go to the spa and get all sorts of treatments, neatly served with additional champagne, strawberries and whatever sort of nuts, that are IN at the moment.
Most of us don’t have that luxury, though, not even working two jobs. Some of us can’t even afford going to the salon and give our hair a little make over. Fret not, my dear, there are ways around that.
Make yourself a warm foot bath. File off callus and trim your toe nails. If nail polish is in the house, go ahead, paint the nails. It doesn’t matter if it’s October and your feet are going to be burried in thick socks and boots. YOU know, they’re coloured and trimmed and it will add to your awsomeness.
Then you give your hands and fingers the same treat. That is going to be your proof to the world that you rock – most parts of the world doesn’t use gloves in October! If gloves are necessary where you live, that’s okay. You really don’t have to prove a thing, because hey – you already KNOW you’re amazing!
You don’t know?
Okay, sweetie, time for the Big Guns then. Brace yourself, because if your self esteem’s a bit low, this is going to be like waxing. Initial torment, but I promise you’ll feel good later:
You place yourself in front of the largest mirror in your home, preferably a full size, but we don’t all have that, so settle for the largest you DO have. You, my fair Lady, are going to praise and adore yourself OUT LOUD to the point where Narcissus comes off as a selfdeprecating dimwit. There are two ways of doing this – “Guns Blazing” or “Modest Mary” (means, either you strip or you don’t) – but there are only two rules: 1) Your entire face and body must be praised. Singling out your eyes, because that’s the only thing you like about yourself, is not an option. 2) Negative comments are NO GO. That includes ambigous statements, like “I guess some might think it’s nice” or “if I lost weight, maybe then” – quite the contrary; you pump up every adjective that springs to mind. Remember, this is about showing Narcissus, who’s boss!
I will not lie to you – you ARE going to feel slighty embarressed, maybe even ridiculous – it’s just the torment part, you got to get through. You may even blush at your own statements and if that happens, praise the beautiful colour on your cheeks. But there’s nothing I want to praise! I’m fat and ugly and everybody else are far more beautiful than me. No! That is simply not true. The official definition of what makes a woman beautiful changes through time. Go back 50 years and everyone size zero would not be considered beautiful. Eyebrows thin. Eyebrows thick. Curves. No curves. It changes, because someone makes a profit of women feeling miserable. It makes us buy a shitload of unnecessary products, get a tonne of treatments (that will ultimately make us look like we’ve been hit by a bus) – and we finally reach the target weight, the right density of eyebrowhair, and master that bloody contouring, and then it changes, and you can start all over again.
Remember this; 99% of Instagram is filtered, photoshopped or covered in a 2 inch layer of make up. But their lips are so full! Yeah, take a closer look and you’ll notice that the “fullness” is really just provided with a skilled use of lipliner and lipstick. It’s not real! And you said the magic word yourself: “their”. Plural. Isn’t it odd how every single make up blogger or Insta-girl resemble the other? They have bad hairdays and food pregnancies too – they just don’t post it! Nothing wrong with that, as long as you stay aware, that you are only viewing selected and manufactored reality.
Back to the mirror, cupcake, this is YOU. The natural, unfiltered you in all your unique beautiful splendor. Notice the sway of your collar bones. The depth of your eyes. The soft wave of your curves. There are plenty of things to cherish. It takes a little practice, but you’ll get there. Trust me. I’m the owner of a body that is essentially a battlefield of mental illness. Medication has increased my weight and thin lines tell too many tales of self harm and suicide attempts. It’s a warrior’s body. Most female bodies are, one way or another! Most of us carry a life inside us for nine months at least once in our life span. That shit takes its toll. Instead of stretch marks across my belly, I have scars. I have not carried life – but I sure as hell have survived! My body doesn’t fit any standard beauty concept. It did once, when I was 20-25… when I was fighting full blown anorexia!
So, quit the downtalking and look at yourself in the mirror. Two rules, but only one acceptable outcome: you are not done, until you are smiling or laughing. NOT condescending, but freely. This is an exercise you should repeat at least once a week if your self esteem is low. The more you become aware of what you have going for you, the more you will enhance that and the more confident, you will become.
Back to selfindulgence…
Why not put on a face mask to cleanse your skin? Use a heating pad to soften the tight muscles. Read the book, you’ve wanted to read for ages. Engage in a Friends binge. Blend a fresh smoothie that kicks the shit out of your vitamin levels. Have sushi for dinner. With a glass of wine.
It’s YOUR day of selfindulgence so YOU are the boss.
Did I catch you on a work day? Well, buy a donut on your way to work. And a coffee, since your machine broke! Make an effort to smile – and maybe even flirt a little – to the people you meet along the way. You will be amazed, when you’re off duty and back in the comforts of your home, how many happy people you’ve met today. Invigorating, right?
Do some of the nice stuff in the evening, then. If you have a job that keeps you standing or walking a lot, a foot bath could be effing heaven. Add the face mask before you dip your feet in the hot water and get 2 done in the time of 1.
Or just read a book. But selfindulgence means avoiding the boring routine and giving yourself as many treats as you like. Things you’d love to do, but don’t normally take the time to do, and that would unwind you and relax you to the core of your bones.
The variations are plenty, so the actual hard part is going to be how to choose, what suits you today. Prioritizing can be a bitch, sorry! So here’s a little final tip for you busy bees outthere:
We can’t all just simply take the day off to selfindulgence. Bills must be paid, maybe you have kids to take care of – you know the drill. If that is the case, finding time to care for yourself might be a bit tricky. Unless it’s weekend or a day off, but face it, those gloomy days never come at a day off. So fetch your calender and over the course of the next week or two, you write down a good thing you will do for yourself every single day. Just one. Make sure that the rest of the household is aware that you are taking some ME-time and that during that specific time of day, you are not to be interrupted. It could be 10 minutes, 30 minutes – just as long as you have something to look forward to, when you get up in the morning. The very best of all those treats, you should save for the final day. Maybe put in a bonus treat, you can get, if you do all the treats and selfcares you’ve planned.
This was my first treat of the day – writing and trying to spread a little sunshine. Now I’m going to listen to some awsome music and afterwards I will throw myself in bathtub and read a book.
Some of us can find it difficult to come up with ideas, especially if we’ve been too caught up in routines and taken too little notice of our selves for too long. So please share, what you would like to do on a selfindulgence day. What relaxes you and soothes your soul? Leave a comment and a little sunshine below.
Have a fantastic day – you’ve earned it .
This post is a part of my “Happy October” series, that started October 1st with “Litter boxes and rainbows” You can get notifications on new posts, by subscribing to lindavlind.dk in the sidebar. Wanna see the other posts of Happy October, you just click the tag “Happy October” in the sidebar or use the search bar.